Ready to hit that self destruct button
Why is it that when a good offer comes along I don’t say yes outright? Why is it that even if I can I refuse to acknowledge it? Why do I live in this bubble if I can explore the world? These are the questions I don’t want to think about but they just pop up randomly.
Opportunities come and if you don’t grab them you’ll lose. I know. But there is a self destruct button installed somewhere and I am about to press it again. I’ll say no.
halfway through the seventh out eight
Like a frightened little lamb drawing closer to the man with a gun, I fear the bar exams. I know that I should not feel this way because does not help at all (and I don’t even know if i’ll reach that far]. I feel all the pressure as the day comes near. “Reflection of fear makes shadows of nothing.” That phrase I got from Naruto’s theme keeps me going but I don’t know until when I can keep up but I have to. I have to.
I have an aversion towards bar topics or anything that is bar-related. I should not. I hate hearing about bar classes, bar syllabus, and bar applications. It’s a year away and a lot can happen in one year but my fear grows each day. A month to go and the seventh semester will end. The eighth will soon begin. And when the eight begins, I know that the day I fear will be closer. I need a diversion or a way to conquer this fear. I cannot afford to lose. I only have a year remaining before that day. All I need to do is man-up. Can I do that?
Don’t take more than a few minutes and don’t think hard. They don’t have to be the “right” books or great works of literature, just ones that have affected you in some way. (Yan ang sagot ko Kay Munik. Kakapagod pag sa fb eh.) heehee! Kunwari maliit na bata :) (at Celestial Village)
Kenshin Himura’s sakabatou and Aoshi Shinomoris’ kodachi
True love. I’ll study hard so I can buy you two. Future.
I really felt bad for yelling at my dad today. I have no right to do that. They’re parents after all. I said sorry but that isn’t enough. What a weak person I am yelling instead of thinking.
When you surround yourself with beautiful people eventually you’ll be. I’m not even talking about looks here. Heart.
Early morning rant
Why do people think that I study too much? If only they can see what I do the whole day: chilling like a moron. I mean, it’s insulting really to assume that I study because I do not and this is not a defensive stance. What if people ask me about stuff and I can’t answer? This made me feel inadequate the previous weeks. Not that I don’t study. It’s not that I study much either. But thinking that I do not have a life besides school, that is wrong. This is a year to absorb information because the BIG DAY is fast approaching but it doesn’t mean that I have to kill myself for that. I have a life people no matter how boring it is.
midweek laziness and forming habits
I made it through a week of waking up early and by early I mean before 8 am. 53 days to go before this becomes a habit. What I did not know about waking up early is that more things must be done and I am not used to doing anything productive. The past few days were tough but I made it. The problem is I feel lazy today (lazier than when I usually wake up at noon]. Given the review classes and all the errands I haven’t accomplish anything today despite waking up early. That is frustrating. I still need to go to class and finish all chores before the designated sleeping time. Lalala. I’m thinking about going back to the old habit but I should not.
and the n months of raining already began
so with classes.
it’s silly not to post about another milestone. that I’ve reached the 7th out of eight semesters. It has been tough those three years and I think I got the hang of it. Another year of reading and wrecking brains ahead but I just ask the heavens for more strength. it will be another tough year but it will eventually pass and I hope to reach the finish line. woohoo. more tears and frustrations but in the end I hope it would all be worth it.